to forgive or to forget..that is the question

dont you love when your friends get into a relationship and then poof they have fallen off the earth? you get the every so often phone call that you cant answer so you go to call them back and they dont answer which then begins the process of phone tag.(which i truly hate) what about if you are trying everything in your power to get ahold of them by texting, im'ing, calling, facebooking, gmail etc...and still no response. so you let it go for a bit. you finally think to yourself...."well jeez this isnt right. i understand there significant other is important but where do i stand with you if im ignored in such a rude way?" (obviously this is about a friend and i) so i go to facebook him and whadya know? i was unfriended! dont even bullshit me...we all know getting unfriended sucks, let alone by a so called "good" friend. so you proceed to start stalking again. im not one to stalk but leme tell you i truly enjoyed my friend and i really needed to know what the hell i did so i could fix it asap. the stalking went on for quite sometime. i asked our mutual friends if they have heard from him and the response was yes. funny, i havent heard from him. then i started to stalk our mutual friends....its just one of those things where you are so embarrassed for doing what you are doing but at the same time its eating away at you for the unknown answer as to what you did wrong. it was very out of character for me to stalk. i dont stalk. as a matter of fact, i could care less if you dont like me. byebye muchacho dont let the door hit ya on the way out! but this kid just kinda got to me. i can admit it. so i let it go. i finally let it go with the every so random text to him relating to fun things we use to do like get sushi or get sushi. lol. i guess you could say i never stopped but i definitely improved.(pat on the back for me. i had to fuckin train myself to stop my madness) so im on facebook one day and i see that he commented on one of my friends status's. being the crabby bitch i am i decided to comment back with something sarcastic. me sarcastic?never! so he actually came back with a response....surprise surprise...low and behold he comes back with something sarcastic and the mini fight began. i kinda felt like i had his attention so i was going to try and stick with it. to give myself some credit at least 50% of my madness was for myself. it ate me alive to know i couldnt fix something. so i messaged him. no need for details other than me telling him to man the fuck up and leme know what i did wrong! after an hour of bullshit he finally told me he'd tell me.....he emailed me and definitely surprised me....he apologized for what he did however ever since he knew me he had feelings for me. he told me that he tried tried tried but he never saw me grab at anything he threw out there. which is kind of funny cause im pretty sure we went out a handful of times alone and even watched a movie together and did the cute bullshit that good looking people do. CUDDLE. anyways where am i at? oh yes, he had feelings for me but heard some of the girls talking about me liking another guy. right than and there him being a stubborn mother fucker basically dropped me like a bad habit. i no longer existed. he felt like he needed to move on. so he started dating some broad he knew. well apparently this girl decided she didnt like me because of previous messages i would leave on his facebook back in the day. we always had a flirtacious relationship....so i had no problem saying lets go on a picnic or lets do this lets do that....NOW LADIES. RULE 346. dont snoop if you dont want to find anything. if your going to snoop then you are bound to find something whether you like it or not. this so called friend of mine and i were sumwhat being FUNNYSEXUAL towards eachother...we joked around all the time so it was harmless....she snooped and she found our cypersexing. which i dont think it was cybersex but to a girlfriend, sure definitely she would think that. she gave this asshole an ultimatum. me or her. obviously he picked her. so my question is. how important are your friends to you when you can give them up so easily? i apparently was not good enough to be talked to about his crush. i apparently didnt deserve the respect to be talked to about the situation. how the hell did he know i didnt want to try something out with him. so maybe i had feelings for someone else? who gives a shit... theres feelings roaming all over the place but who said i took any action on those feelings. in my eyes if you dont step up to the plate then stop wasting my time. im the woman. show me what you want. im not a fucking mind reader! and if i was...id still make you work to have me....not alot but enough to show me im worth it. THE KICKER. they are no longer together. guess whos back to being friends? yea. i know. im the pathetic one....yet at the same time. i won... shitty move on his part but theres always room for forgiving. god knows i have been forgiven so why not do a little yourself. i may have bitch tendencies but fuck i kinda worked hard to keep him around. what he did miss out on was someone whos really good at keeping a real relationship alive. thats something hes not allowed to have. well....maybe....depends on if he begs. ;) until then my two little follower.