girl rule guy code.....the obvious for people who have common sense

hello!!!!!!!! i have absolutely forgotten about all of you! my bad! dont worry im back, with plenty of stories to be told. once again i have had somebody piss me off. just so happens this time it wasnt a stranger. if any of you three people that follow me really read my blogs you would remember the blog about the guy who was my friend but was so obsessed with me he had to back off from me and go to another bitch? remember? haha ok. so in life the older you get the less friends you start to have. you realize who your true friends are especially from id say in my experience 23-25. theres always rules in your friendships/relationships. there has to be rules. without rules things become complete chaos and then your small little brains get all frantic....one rule friends should always stick to is the whole girl rule guy code with exceptions. lets not get out of hand here... if you went on a date with someone a couple times and years later you go on a date with them...im sorry my friends but that doesnt count. or maybe if you saw the person you were interested in you called dibs on them but they like your friend...once again..you cant get mad. however when you sit there and you talk to your friend about your past with someone for a whole fucking lunch hour, plus her knowing every little detail about the situation and her even asking how everything is goin with that specific boy...that doesnt give you the right to go and "kiss" him when you get drunk. lets face it your not just kissing someone at 3am. especially knowing this girl.....lets just say shes very comfortable with her sexuality. good for her you say? i say right on! but stay the fuck away from my situation. the nerve someone can have when you are so loyal to them. when she was confronted...i did not recieve an im sorry...i recieved a well would you rather of had it be *****(anonymous) what??????? did u really just say that to me? the other guy i enjoyed? who the fuckkkkk does she think she is? you linttttt licker! im sorry but common sense is to respect your friends and what they have in there life. the day id go and touch someone she enjoyed is the day those men are the only ones left on this planet. this has nothing to do with the guy either. i mean realistically what did he do wrong? i dont own him. we arent anything. i could care less/ to be honest shes somewhat easy. i mean lets be honest so why wouldnt he go for the "kiss" this guy and i are just fine. i will say it again everyone. loyalty. dont cross the line. dont disrespect your friends like that. were a little to old to be playing high school games. for someone that has it together....apparently she doesnt in that department. dont let the door hit you on the way out girl. oh and btw... the voicemail you sent to me ya know the one where you want to fix things? sorry....not goin to happen. your a great girl and ill say hi to you...but nobody needs those acts of randomness in there life. your fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hollaaa acthur girl.... or better yet....dont.

to forgive or to forget..that is the question

dont you love when your friends get into a relationship and then poof they have fallen off the earth? you get the every so often phone call that you cant answer so you go to call them back and they dont answer which then begins the process of phone tag.(which i truly hate) what about if you are trying everything in your power to get ahold of them by texting, im'ing, calling, facebooking, gmail etc...and still no response. so you let it go for a bit. you finally think to yourself...."well jeez this isnt right. i understand there significant other is important but where do i stand with you if im ignored in such a rude way?" (obviously this is about a friend and i) so i go to facebook him and whadya know? i was unfriended! dont even bullshit me...we all know getting unfriended sucks, let alone by a so called "good" friend. so you proceed to start stalking again. im not one to stalk but leme tell you i truly enjoyed my friend and i really needed to know what the hell i did so i could fix it asap. the stalking went on for quite sometime. i asked our mutual friends if they have heard from him and the response was yes. funny, i havent heard from him. then i started to stalk our mutual friends....its just one of those things where you are so embarrassed for doing what you are doing but at the same time its eating away at you for the unknown answer as to what you did wrong. it was very out of character for me to stalk. i dont stalk. as a matter of fact, i could care less if you dont like me. byebye muchacho dont let the door hit ya on the way out! but this kid just kinda got to me. i can admit it. so i let it go. i finally let it go with the every so random text to him relating to fun things we use to do like get sushi or get sushi. lol. i guess you could say i never stopped but i definitely improved.(pat on the back for me. i had to fuckin train myself to stop my madness) so im on facebook one day and i see that he commented on one of my friends status's. being the crabby bitch i am i decided to comment back with something sarcastic. me sarcastic?never! so he actually came back with a response....surprise surprise...low and behold he comes back with something sarcastic and the mini fight began. i kinda felt like i had his attention so i was going to try and stick with it. to give myself some credit at least 50% of my madness was for myself. it ate me alive to know i couldnt fix something. so i messaged him. no need for details other than me telling him to man the fuck up and leme know what i did wrong! after an hour of bullshit he finally told me he'd tell me.....he emailed me and definitely surprised me....he apologized for what he did however ever since he knew me he had feelings for me. he told me that he tried tried tried but he never saw me grab at anything he threw out there. which is kind of funny cause im pretty sure we went out a handful of times alone and even watched a movie together and did the cute bullshit that good looking people do. CUDDLE. anyways where am i at? oh yes, he had feelings for me but heard some of the girls talking about me liking another guy. right than and there him being a stubborn mother fucker basically dropped me like a bad habit. i no longer existed. he felt like he needed to move on. so he started dating some broad he knew. well apparently this girl decided she didnt like me because of previous messages i would leave on his facebook back in the day. we always had a flirtacious relationship....so i had no problem saying lets go on a picnic or lets do this lets do that....NOW LADIES. RULE 346. dont snoop if you dont want to find anything. if your going to snoop then you are bound to find something whether you like it or not. this so called friend of mine and i were sumwhat being FUNNYSEXUAL towards eachother...we joked around all the time so it was harmless....she snooped and she found our cypersexing. which i dont think it was cybersex but to a girlfriend, sure definitely she would think that. she gave this asshole an ultimatum. me or her. obviously he picked her. so my question is. how important are your friends to you when you can give them up so easily? i apparently was not good enough to be talked to about his crush. i apparently didnt deserve the respect to be talked to about the situation. how the hell did he know i didnt want to try something out with him. so maybe i had feelings for someone else? who gives a shit... theres feelings roaming all over the place but who said i took any action on those feelings. in my eyes if you dont step up to the plate then stop wasting my time. im the woman. show me what you want. im not a fucking mind reader! and if i was...id still make you work to have me....not alot but enough to show me im worth it. THE KICKER. they are no longer together. guess whos back to being friends? yea. i know. im the pathetic one....yet at the same time. i won... shitty move on his part but theres always room for forgiving. god knows i have been forgiven so why not do a little yourself. i may have bitch tendencies but fuck i kinda worked hard to keep him around. what he did miss out on was someone whos really good at keeping a real relationship alive. thats something hes not allowed to have. well....maybe....depends on if he begs. ;) until then my two little follower.

There really not what they say....

as a independent self sufficient true to myself woman, i find myself being able to read people very easily. if i feel like your lying u probably are. if i feel like your beating around the bush, then u probably are. drama is embedded in womans jeans. im okay with drama as long as you keep it to a certain degree. when u start lying to people then it makes me wonder. obviously everyone hates a liar. but what about that liar that just lies to keep the window of oppurtunity opened. i was in a discussion a little bit ago and the conversation consisted of...so whats with your girlfriend? ohh ya know she wanted to thank you for everything, shes just a little shy and has been hurt in the past so she has her guard up. REALLY? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? ok it gets better....so you fucked up huh cuz now ur single on facebook. well no she just doesnt want to make it official because she has trust issues. GIVE ME A BREAK! i mean unless im the fucked up one who has trust issues which most likely not, i dont believe this for one minute. ohhhh i have trust issues so i cant press a button from single to in a relationship? ok honey, um leme break it down. she just has other options. this is not hard. poor guy truly thinks hes got her. the bitch has got u on the back burner my friend. its as simple as that. how does one not notice this? the obvious is right in front of him yet he chooses to be played. i know when im being played before the mother fucker thinks in his head..."time to play lauren." Woman embarrass me and this is why we get the run around all the time. men think were all the same but were not. i dont have enough energy to say...umm sure ill call you or yea lets hang this weekend but never show up.. its either yes or no. we think we are helping them out and sparing there feelings but we really arent. guys are alot more easier than we think. i find myself feeling bad for this guy and i would love to just say oh honey get rid of the bitch but he worked way to hard(from what i hear that is) to get her wall down. or so he says she has a wall....(see...there i go sparing his feelings) hey slick rick...there isnt a wall! we all have been using that excuse since day one. were all adults so time to act like it. if you dont like someone then say it. no run around. u dont owe anybody anything. now because i try to not be one sided lets just say she is telling the truth....(which shes not but lets pretend) if she is then how much does one have to do to break a wall? how worth is it nowadays for that one person? think about it....anyone can go anywhere to find someone. its very simple. why find the one who challenges you? because men loveeeeeeeeeee a challenge... if they really want they will wait as long as they can to get you to break that wall...physically mentally and emotionally....then they accomplished there goal. then out of nowhere they start acting different. why is this? cuz they have nothing to look forward to now. they just broke there back breaking you. there tired and now bored. ladies, if we are going to challenge lets not throw it all at once. you cant expect them to work there asses off then u give in and them be all intrigued by u still...theres nothing else to look forward too! so much i must teach these woman. i wonder if theres common sense classes for the retarded woman out there? nieve is not in anymore ladies....get with the program. the steam has exited my ears and now im over this....gnite to my two followers lol

men were bound to act like woman

i really didnt plan on blogging until monday but i was put in a situation where i had to turn badass lauren....there was conversation at a friends house tonight and i decided to be the obnoxious person i am and see if i could get a rise out of people....its was my very good friends house however there were several i did not know. i couldnt tell you the topic we were on but i could tell you that whatever i bursted out of the big hole in my mouth it related very well. i made a simple comment that nobody caught. they pretended it wasnt even there.....now before i went to this party i was told that all these people wrote at a school newspaper at a university so i thought the word "versatile" was def. in there cards 24/7. i made a sassy comment. i said, "nowadays the men have become the woman and the woman have become the men." holy mother of god i didnt get one reaction other than there lips gripping there alcoholic beverage...so we moved on....dont ask me what we moved onto cuz i was just worried about why the hell i didnt get a response.so i proceeded to say something sarcastic and whadya know?one of the guys decided to bust out..."well no worries cuz men act like woman and woman act like men." i go wow...so u did hear me? apparently you cant discuss because you have been holding it in...i than proceeded to start busting this gentleman out...out of nowhere another guy decided to speak...he wanted my reasoning of my comment....i simply stated that us woman have become so drained of men. we have turned our feeling into how a man would react and yet at the same time us woman have put men through so much that they have finally tried to turn there emotions on and try to understand us. well leme tell you something gentleman....to fuckin mother fuckn late. you all are dissapointing. i am one big mother fuckin serial dater. i have been out with every type. the shy the loud the ugly the hot the scrawny the muscular man the four eyed geek the cool dude the chubby man the i dont give a fuck man the im in love with myself more than ill ever love you man the arabian the white man the black man the blah blah blah man. been there done that. you all are the same....and when you change? you aLL CHANGE AT THE SAME FUCKN TIME. you all have become serious bitches. i can no longer get screwed over....i HAVE TO SCREW you all over now cuz your all about chances now. put your big boy pants on and let me tear up....i miss it. gime back my challenge already. show me you have what supposedly lady gaga has. i guess i could be rambling but at the same time i have a serious point. in the end marco polo could stick this in his pipe and smoke it.....(one of the gentlemans nickname that was trying to defeat me in my debate) anyways im over this, bedtime i say for i have a jersey shore party to attend tomorrow. dont be jealous. one suggestion to everyone. debate! debate until your blue in the face. conversation is beautiful no matter what type it is..... rise an emotion out of someone when they least expect it. :) goodnight.

what gets me through my day

have you guys ever sat back and listened to all the noises that are happening around you? i have a problem....im a chewaphobic....i cant handle hearing people chew. it doesnt end there tho. if you happen to gulp your water the wrong way and it makes that gulp gulp noise?ew!!!!!!!!!! but it just so happens god put me in a office with a man that does all that nonsense....heres what this mans day consists of. walks into the office...no no wait he obnoxiously walks into the office.he busts out his grits immedietely with his croissant. hes gotta have his croisssant. he makes the grits and manages to get it all in his mouth...as he eats he smacks...sometimes ill be lucky enough to get a glance of a piece of food on his lip just chillen there. personally, i feel bad for that lil piece of food. sometimes i wana save it from his mouth. as he finishes all his food he goes mmmm mmmm mmmm. since when was it okay to make love to your food? its not okay. in life we have what is called manners. did we forget about these? how about fucking popcorn. have we forgotten that u could make less noise eating popcorn if u place the popcorn in your mouth and then chew rather than waiting for that piece of popcorn to immedietely hit your mouth and chomp away? all these noises need to go away! no. im wrong. they must go away! im losing my sanity. just the other day i had to remove myself from the office until he was done chewing. my boss wonders why it takes me so long to do my work. what am i suppose to say? um so and so was chewing and i couldnt concentrate? sure so now i look like the fucking psycho. it gets better. if i am away from my desk and my phone rings and i cant get to it but the chewing devil is by my phone he takes the innitiative to answer it. super nice right? THE FUCKING PROBLEM IS....HE ANSWERS MY PHONE. so you mean to tell me after all you consumed plus with that little piece of food still chillen on your lip your goin to infect my phone so i could then get ill from your bacteria? hes lucky i have stashes of alcohol in the office so my phone can be cleaned. no morals no values. i gave him a dollar to go get me peanuts and i happened to get busy forgot i asked him for peanuts. the next day i asked him where my dollar was and he had the balls to say oh i forgot. oh ok um cAN i have my dollar? oh um um um ill get you back next week. oh. real fuckn nice. this is the type of atmosphere where if you dont find something to get you through your day u might as well just off yourself...dont make fun i know its crazy but im in love with 93.9 the lite robin fucn rock....man that lady plays old school music that puts me in a bubble where nobody can fuck with me....we got supertramp the logical song, train that stupid hey soul sister song i love billy joel shes got a way lets not forget crackhead paula abdul straight up throw in sum bangles wilson phillips richard marx and finally.....des'ree you gotta be....i just dont think it could get any better then that...old school yes...but i cant possibly enjoy 24inch rims hoes on the reg and boots wit the fur while trying to woosa out the chewing devil....ever notice how you listen to certain music as to how ur mood is? well gimme sum rap with chew devil and id start shanking left and right....ahhhhh that felt good. now i can go rest.everyone please feel free to walk on eggshells around me when your about to eat. im sure theres a youtube video out there on how to chew correctly....so go look it up and waste some time.... it is friday so ill be back monday. unless something absurd happens to me...which im sure it will. ta ta

dont ever tell me to fucking relax

well hello. so this is my first time blogging and i dont know how to do any of it. i do however want to get this out in the open. as a first time blogger i think of my followers needing to know a few things about me....its important because you will not read my blogs the way i want you to if u dont understand me. when i write/type/doodle whatever the fuck it is i do i emphasize in this head of mine...im very dramtic and loud up there...i like to say my words with meaning and i like to be heard even over a computer. i dont care if ur disgusted,sad,mad,sick of me, not wanting to ever read my statu's on facebook ever again i am still happy i got a reaction out of u...its a sign of emotion and i love emotion. i love angry emotion too....i guess i only really do status's on facebook but fuck i get so many comments back that it just makes me laugh and want me to type more. one thing i do hate tho is when i am trying to make a point or tell a story and i get told about my fucking spelling/grammar and or punctuation. i noticed my cousin starting to do that shit..id be telling her these stories that im so into and i think she is to and all the sudden i get interrupted by her with how to spell or say a fucking word. well jesus christ my story must really fucking suck if you are worried about a spelling error or pronunciation of a damn word. if i have to repeat or go back and fix shit or stop typing because i have to put in a fucking colon then were missing the whole purpose of writing or typing blah blah....i mean when you keep goin and goin and goin ur thoughts wont be forgotten....thats art to me....im not going back and rereading this so i could fix it...then you are changing up so much of your thoughts. and dont even think of me as a scumbag. i know how to spell i know what punctuation is i went to fifth grade ok! my point is if you can feel how i am speaking then you will have no problem reading this....get loud in your head and realize the serious sarcasm oozing from my writing.... i dont want to be aware of perfection because this is my time to vent....and if its my time then i can think however i want... (heres some help...repeat after me.."i can think however the fuck i want." sway your head move one of your fingers like shanaynay would and get sum attitude.) dont get ghetto about it and dont get to white girlish. i mean i think thats it for now..the only thing i could say is if you are a sensitive person and you are about to read my blogs.......BE AWARE. theres no crying in blogball! until then....